"RaymondStantz" (RaymondStantz)
04/01/2014 at 13:46 • Filed to: BMW
7
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"RaymondStantz" (RaymondStantz)
04/01/2014 at 13:46 • Filed to: BMW | 7
| 10 |
After the incessant cries from enthusiasts that BMW has lost its way, they announced today that they would be dropping their entire lineup of cars in favor of what was available in 1986. BMW CEO Norbert Reithofer had this to say:
We can't have enthusiasts not buying our cars 10 years from now on the used car market. We just can't afford to lose that demographic. We're selling more cars than ever, yet enthusiasts constantly say we're on a crash course to disaster. That's why I'm proud to announce we're dropping our entire lineup of cars in favor for what was available in 1986.
This is what we can expect from BMW in the coming months. It is predicted that marketing costs will be down up to 75%, as all material will be simply recycled. There will be just a 3, 5, 6, and 7 series. Here are some comments from enthusiasts upon this announcement:
They didn't do anything right. They're seriously charging more than $3500 for an E30? Good luck BMW
I'd really like to buy one used in 25 years
They come with A/C? BMW has lost their way. It's a DRIVER'S car, now it's just like driving a Corolla
There is still no word on how BMW plans on skirting safety testing, but it has been rumored that safety will be passed on the premise of safety being for pussies who can't drive. Sales are projected to break the 18 mark by the end of the financial quarter.
jkm7680
> RaymondStantz
04/01/2014 at 13:48 |
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God, I wish they did that,
Happy April fools right back at you, Haha
offroadkarter
> RaymondStantz
04/01/2014 at 13:49 |
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Does this mean my 85 745i will be worth as much as a 1 year old 7 series?
Thank God, maybe I can make some money on this car now
505Turbeaux
> offroadkarter
04/01/2014 at 13:51 |
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no do not listen... :)
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offroadkarter
> 505Turbeaux
04/01/2014 at 13:54 |
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You keep your 500, now I can sell it for.... 600! Such success
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505Turbeaux
> offroadkarter
04/01/2014 at 13:54 |
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dammit make me have to go to the bank...
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offroadkarter
> 505Turbeaux
04/01/2014 at 13:57 |
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Swag doesn't come cheap, sir
Manuél Ferrari
> RaymondStantz
04/01/2014 at 13:58 |
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lol I posted something similar last night
http://oppositelock.jalopnik.com/bmw-to-ditch-f…
bkempert
> RaymondStantz
04/01/2014 at 14:07 |
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The only problem I have with this, albeit very funny, little joke is that the picture used is not the 1986 lineup. The E21 was already phased out for the E30 by then.
Flat Six
> RaymondStantz
04/01/2014 at 14:09 |
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Caterham or Superformance should totally do this!
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RaymondStantz
> bkempert
04/01/2014 at 15:11 |
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Heh, you got me on that one. I was hoping nobody would notice ;)